So I have been thinking about what I wanted to post next for some time now, I just haven't found the time to post anything. I need to learn to let the dishes and the laundry go! I would much rather blog anyway, even though it doesn't seem like it, since my posts are so infrequent.
Anyhow, we went to Florida over Easter, as we usually do. It brought back so many memories of our trip last year at the same time. We had just recently received Lauren's WS diagnosis, and we were going through so much emotionally. We had known long enough to not still be crying every day, but we were still sort of numb and in shock a little, trying to be positive and still very much adjusting to the information. Throughout all three of my pregnancies, I had prayed so much for my babies. I just wanted each to be healthy, with no problem that can't be fixed. I begged God, told him I would do anything, just please let them be typical healthy kids, but if anything has to be wrong, please let it be something that there is a cure for. Well, there is no cure for WS. I thought the bible says "Ask and you shall receive"? Why are some people's prayers "answered" but not others'? Well, that's a pretty deep discussion, and I was a little mad at God for awhile. But I kept praying, asking for Lauren to have the mildest case of WS ever known. He may have answered that one, at least so far.
We have been so fortunate with Lauren's health and so many other issues. She eats literally everything, poops great, sleeps through the night, no hypercalcemia, etc. She has her developmental delays, and her moderate (but stable) pulmonary stenosis, and that's pretty much it. For now. WS symptoms can vary so much it's crazy. We know she will have difficulties learning, health issues, may never be independent, and so on. But we are immeasurably grateful for how well she is doing so far.
During this year's trip, while walking through a flea market near Daytona, I was reminded of someone I met there the previous year. A woman working there struck up a conversation with me about babies. She was so happy that Lauren has the same name as her newest granddaughter, she handed me a penny cut into the shape of a cross, and told me it would always keep Lauren safe, if I kept it near her. It is still taped to the underside of her crib. I am not superstitious, but the woman had no idea what we were going through, and it was very touching.
So, it seemed like everywhere we went on our trip, I was thinking about the difficulty of the previous year and how we were feeling, and how far Lauren had come. I really try to be a very positive person, and difficult as it is to accept that our beloved daughter will be "different," my husband and I both know things could be so much worse. We have come so far emotionally. It is still very difficult, and I still cry for her and worry about her future. But we have learned to make the absolute best of it.
I am not a terribly religious person, but I do have Christian beliefs, and I enjoy reading so many of the clever signs I see in front of churches, trying to get people's attention. For example, "Sign broken, come inside for message," or "CH CH What's missing? UR." Well, guess what a church sign said driving home from Florida, after all these thoughts running through my head?
God Doesn't Fix Problems, He Changes Perspectives
Wow, how much my perspective has changed in a year. Life is what you make it, so make it happy.
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